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About Deviant Core Member hevUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
1 Month Core Membership:
Given by ARDYIAS
Statistics 85 Deviations 8,550 Comments 40,050 Pageviews

Die, die, my darlin's, die, die, die!





:iconfaiiingashes::iconbuiishifters:
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

bullshifters.flavors.me/

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Yo, my buddy Keith had his car drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here... Yeah, see, he was driving over it late at night and there in the middle of the bridge was what looked like, In Keith's estimation, like a dead bear, so Keith gets out his car to find a stick to poke at it, right? Well, it turns out it's just some lady's fur coat that musta fallen out her car, so, hey, free coat, right? Now, owls won't normally attack a man, but in this case, they were hungry, and that made them reckless, man. Keith reckons that they musta been there for hours watchin' what they thought was a bear carcass, 'cause as soon as he picked it up, them owls had claws in him inch deep. Well, Keith figures his best bet is to jump in a lake, 'cause owls can't swim. Well, them owls could. He fought them for like 20 minutes treading water, and during that time, a boat came, the bridge went up and down went Keith's car. Man, sometimes nature's just tryin' to teach us, if we'd only listen.

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:icondeertush:
Deertush Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
happy fucking birthday you fucking meme
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(1 Reply)
:iconardyias:
ARDYIAS Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Student General Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLIS <3I'm On The Phone Dude (Ellis Left 4 Dead 2) I'm On The Phone Dude (Ellis Left 4 Dead 2) I'm On The Phone Dude (Ellis Left 4 Dead 2) I'm On The Phone Dude (Ellis Left 4 Dead 2) I'm On The Phone Dude (Ellis Left 4 Dead 2) 
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:iconraeabear:
Raeabear Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Happy Birthday.
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(1 Reply)
:iconbloodbendingmaster97:
bloodbendingmaster97 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconballoonsplz::iconaqua-hplz::iconaqua-aplz::iconaqua-pplz::iconaqua-pplz::iconaqua-yplz:
:iconaqua-bplz::iconaqua-iplz::iconaqua-rplz::iconaqua-tplz::iconaqua-hplz::iconaqua-dplz::iconaqua-aplz::iconaqua-yplz::iconexclamationmark2plz::iconexclamationmark2plz::iconballoonsplz2::iconballoonplz::icongiftplz::iconcakechocplz:
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:icontangletallon:
TangleTallon Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday! 
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